I have a very quick minute while I drink my morning vanilla latte and watch the kiddos play so I thought I might jot down some thoughts that were going through my mind yesterday already.
Let's talk temper tantrums. Now, as most of you know, I have a son named Jaydon who will be 3 years old in April. And oh em gee...can he tantrum! I am thinking this child should win some kind of award for it some days. Wow. Just wow. Anyway, I was thinking yesterday and talking to God about how I want to be a better mom in regards to his tantrums in this next year. Truth be told, I haven't been the most patient mother on the planet (ever!), especially when it comes to these meltdowns. I get angry, frustrated, and sometimes I just lose it. I yell, put him in time out, and I don't think through about how to effectively deal with the situation as often as I should. You probably get where I am coming from. Now, I must say that not every single time is a failing attempt at calming him down and getting things back under control, but most times...yikes. I need to work on it for sure.
So yeah, I was praying and just talking to God. I had to laugh at His response. He told me to think about Jaydon's tantrums, and then think about my most common response to them. (Not so good). Then think about how we, as people...adults, children, whoever, throw tantrums all of the time with God. "But God, You're not blessing me RIGHT NOW! You're not giving me the house I want NOW! I need to get married NOW! But God, this trial I am going through just is NOT FAIR! These people in my life are making me crazy! My job sucks, God! I need more money! I want new clothes!" ....and so on. You get the picture. When God was showing me this, I got quiet and low. I mean, how else should one respond when the Lord is showing you how immature and just straight up ridiculous your behavior and actions can be when you don't get what you want when you want it? Ahhh!
Needless to say, this situation was a bit of a wake-up call for me yesterday. I could just picture myself saying these things at one time or another and thinking, "Man, I look pretty ridiculous right about now. I am 31 years old, and I am throwing a fit like my toddler-aged son!" Okay, not REALLY like how Jaydon does with throwing myself on the ground and whatnot, but I am definitely not a happy camper when I don't get my way when I want my way. I start having feelings of fear, doubt, and just discouragement when things don't go the way I think they should. I lose faith. I lose hope. I forget about LOVE. I doubt God, I forget His promises, and I allow the enemy to infiltrate my thoughts the way he sees fit. Ouch. Major eye opener right here.
I think the major missing link here is trust....or lack thereof. We get so caught up in our human thinking that we forget that God most times has a better way and a better time frame. No, God the BEST way and the BEST time frame. Period. The Bible talks about this in Isaiah 55 that His ways and His thoughts are much higher and different from ours. He has everything under control. He promises to work everything out for our good. Sometimes we need to just stay put, endure, and trust Him. We're always in a hurry to get nowhere, it seems. When we focus so much on the destination, we lose sight of all that God wants to teach us along the journey towards that destination. However, when our eyes are fixed on Him, we then begin to see just how valuable the life lessons along the journey are, and then the destination becomes of less importance to us.
So, I guess you could say that one of my "goals" this year is to learn to stop throwing temper tantrums about how I think my life needs to look at any given moment and just to start trusting God that He knows better. He loves us so much and always wants the very best for us. It's just learning that His best and our best look very different most of the time. It's about giving up control. It's about surrender and trust. It's about letting God in and allowing Him to love me and not always putting my guard up when it comes to things I feel unsure or not so happy about. I'll get there. You'll get there. That's the beauty of it all. It's actually not about getting "there" at all that's important, but what we learn each step of the way. God delights in walking this path called life with you. So just let go, sit back, and enjoy the most amazing ride of your life! He is with you always. Amen.