Here is probably one of the most amazing songs I have ever heard during my almost 12 years of walking with the Lord.
"Healer" by Planetshakers
You hold my every momentYou calm my raging seasYou walk with me through fireAnd heal all my diseaseI trust in YouI trust in YouI believeYou're my HealerI believeYou are all I needI believe You're my PortionI believeYou're more than enough for meJesus, You're all I needNothing is impossible for YouNothing is impossibleNothing is impossible for YouYou hold my world in Your hands
So far I have been to church 3 times this week, and it has been awesome! Just by walking into the building, I feel such a strong presence of the Lord. Wednesday night, I went to the youth group. My friend, Barb, and I were going to attend the Adults' meeting, but we looked in, got a little shy, and decided to sit in with the youth instead. It was really good. Three teenagers gave their lives to Christ that night. The glory of God was all around, and miracles were happening in that place, one after another.
Friday night, I attended the young adults' service. It is basically for people ages 18 to 30 or so...so if you're over 30, you're TOO OLD! Haha, just kidding. :) It was so rad, too, because I was reconnected with this girl, Cathryn, whom I had met last year at the church when Samgar and I visited. Her grandparents are from Holland as well, and she has a burning passion for Europe, and her heart is really stirred to go to Holland. I told her it would be cool to go and minister together, so when we introduced me to her husband, she said, "This is Jess. She and I might go to Holland together." Haha. I love her faith!
Anyway, worship was amazing. They played this song, Healer, and it just broke me apart...in a good way. It was making a confession before Heaven, Hell, and all of creation that God IS MY HEALER. He is more than enough for me. He is all I need. As I sang, this song just became more and more my prayer. Why? Because He IS my Healer. He IS my Portion. Nothing is impossible for Him! Wow!
After worship, the childrens' pastor preachd on Purity. It was so good, and it really ministered to me. So many times we get stuck on purity just being something like avoiding sexual temptation or whatever, but it is so much more than that. One thing he said that struck me was this: stress = fear. Okay, I of all people have known this, but MAN! It was quite the epiphany at that moment when I heard it. Am I under stress? Yes. Do I need to be? No. Why? Because the most amazing, lovely, and beautiful God of the universe is in complete control of my life, and I don't have to go it alone...ever.
So...moving onto last night. I get to church, and the worship begins, and this song is being played AGAIN. God just ushers me in. I felt His presence so strongly, and it was like the bricks of despair, fear, doubt, and anything and everything else that was hanging on me just began to fall off. I know there has been a transformation in my life. God is just too loving, too caring, and too good to let me go like that. He cares about my every trouble, every worry, every hardship, and every circumstance. If He will do this for me, He will do it for you. God is a God of freedom. He has come to set the captives (like you and me) free! It's time for us to embrace His freedom!
The message last night was about mercy. One of the pastors, Mitch, was preaching, and it was just so good! He filled us all up with the Word of God, referencing His Truth about how God sees us and that His mercy is truly for us. At the end of the service, he did an altar call. He invited people to come up for prayer who have struggled with receiving the mercy of God, who have struggled with being people pleasers, or who have had some kind of hurt and pain from a natural father or other man in their lives. I believe almost all women made their way to the front as the music began to play. I hesitated to go up, mostly our of fear and maybe even pride, but the Holy Spirit was nudging me the whole time, so I figured I had better wise up and obey!
As I made my way up there, pastor Mitch gave a word that he said he had been given by the Lord on Wednesday for someone already, and this person is standing in the front now. As soon as the word was delivered, I KNEW it was for me. It was so clear and so encouraging. It made me laugh considering if I had gone to the adults' meeting on Wednesday, I would have received the word THEN. What a merciful God! He acted in mercy to still deliver that word to me because He knew I needed to hear it.
I just stood up there, hands raised, praying and praising the Lord and just receiving. A woman came to pray with me, and I don't even know what she prayed for, but it doesn't matter. Barb also came and laid hands on me. It was so good. When the glory of God ushers into a room and touches a person, not even the powers of hell can stop it. As I stood, I received so much from God. Now I didn't have some amazing vision or anything, but the heaviness....it was just dropping away...off of my shoulders, bit by bit. I hadn't experienced something like this in over 2 and a half years, that I can remember.
Later, pastor Mitch came to pray over me, and Barb and I told him that word was for me, so he told me to come next Wednesday to the group. So yes, I am going to go. It is sort of an intercessory prayer group, which is totally my thing.
I left church so encouraged. I couldn't wait to get home so I could see who this song was by. I just listened to it over and over again. It was awesome. Just me and God enjoying each other's company. Just hangin' with Jesus is like the very best thing in the world. I desire nothing more than this. ever.
God is my Healer. He is my Portion. He is all I need. When I am hurting, He is there. When I am broken, He is there. When I have fallen, He picks me up again. You see? What we confess with our mouths becomes our reality. We begin to believe what we speak. I know I have quite a journey ahead of me, but thank God I don't have to go it alone. He is with me every step of the way, allowing His healing balm to get right deep into those wounds and heal them. Will I cry some tears? Sure! Been there, done that. Will it easy hunky dorey easy all of the time? No way. It was never meant to be that way. However, I can tell you that something I have learned throughout my healing process, which has ben going on since I first got saved, is that the sooner we surrender, trust and obey, the quicker and less painful the process is. It's letting go of the past and running towards the goal. It's submitting all of who we are and all that we have to the Lord and allowing Him to put back together the broken pieces of our lives again and again.
And just so you know, you will mess up at times, it's inevitable. But don't worry, God is a God of mercy and grace. God is a God Who LOVES to lavish His love on you. For me, last night was being reminded that I am Daddy's little girl. That I am loved. That I am a beautiful woman of God who has so much to offer to a broken world. Thank You, Jesus, for that much needed reminder. He is showing me how to become comfortable in my own skin. He is showing me that I am lovely and I do have so much worth and value. I am not a mistake. You are not a mistake. We were divinely put together by the Father of Heaven and Earth many eons ago, and He cares about EVERY detail of our lives. Every single one!
So Lord, I just pray today that You would usher us all into Your presence and heal our broken hearts. Father, enter in with Your wonderful healing balm and cleanse out and cover those hurting and wounded areas of our innermost being. You along are worthy to be praised. You alone can heal. You alone are all we need. We praise You for Your promises. We thank You that nothing is impossible for You. You truly do hold my world in Your hands. Lord Jesus, we just wanna bless Your name for Your mercy, Your goodness, Your faithfulness, and Your love. Your grace is sufficient for us. Thank You for being our Lover, our Healer, our Daddy God, and our very Best Friend. We lift Your name on high with thanksgiving and praise. In Jesus' mighty name, AMEN!