Believe.

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Listen to the song, "Believe". Heck, listen to them all. They will all rock your socks. I'm serious.
I cannot begin to tell you how much I love music and how much more I love God. He has been speaking to me so much, and it's just so good. All of this stuff, in the midst of just...crap...gosh, it's cool.

I seriously never really knew the degree of what a divine appointment was until I arrived in Las Vegas. I also didn't know how fast God could answer prayers, even abou the silliest things. I'm blown away. Seriously.

Since being here in Las Vegas for just over 3 weeks now, I have met 3 Dutch women, and altogether like 7 women who have a heart and passion to minister in Holland. I am like, "Okay, God, are You kidding me?" I met this one Dutch woman, and she is a dynamic teacher. It's so cool. I could tell she was Dutch from her accent, and I later introduced myself to her and asked her if she was originally from Holland, and she said yes. So, I proceeded to share with her my story, and she was in tears. She has such a heart and burden to minister in Holland, but she hasn't had any connections...until now.

Prior to this, I happened to meet a woman named Annie who attends the same church as me, and she is the founder and director of a dynamic ministry called Hookers for Jesus. I felt led by the Lord to introduce myself to her and to talk with her more about the ministry with the prostitutes she has here in Vegas. I shared with her my experience in Amsterdam, and my heart for Holland, etc. She was estatic. She told me that she had been praying for over 2 years for the Lord to connect her with someone who has ties to Holland (Amsterdam). Well, now He has.

Annie has a real heart to minister to girls in prostitution and also in human trafficking...for example, the girls in the far eastern countries like Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, etc. It's funny, too, what a sense of humor God has. Just a couple of days before this unexpected meeting with Annie, Barbara's husband, Joe, had a word from the Lord for me that God is going to be sending me to nations like Thailand to minister to girls into human trafficking and also to do development work in places like Burma and stuff. I was floored. God confirms. He is awesome. What can I say? Wow.

The most ironic thing is that I prayed half jokingly that the Lord would bring Christians or SOMEONE in my path who can help me to learn Dutch...ya know, because I want to become fluent and all. Well, lo and behold, I meet 2 Dutch women at one church alone. Craziness. They were speaking Dutch to me, and I was so excited to hear it and be able to understand it. I'm so passionate about learning that I have accidentally been speaking some Dutch to people instead of English. How weird is THAT? Haha. They just give me weird looks, we giggle, and we move on to the next moment.

A week and a half ago or so, I was able to hang out with my awesome friend and brother in the faith, Ben, and his mom. We went to the "old strip" and also the current strip here in Vegas, and it was fun! We ate amazing $1.99 shrimp cocktails. Yummy. We also walked around and admired the architecture of these ridiculous buildings known as casinos and whatnot. It was fun, even in the midst of gamblers. Haha. Most importantly, I was encouraged. Ben's mom and I could relate to one another in alot ways, and it was just cool to talk with her. Of course, Ben was being his crazy ol' self, and it was kind of strange to hang out with him on the "homeland" considering our last time to hang out was in precious Heidelberg well over a year before.
Later that day, I went to a birthday party of my friend, Maurice's lady girl, Fancy. It was cool to meet new people, meet old Shelter peeps, etc. We had good talks, and I had more divine appts. God is just awesome, connecting me with people, and just opening up these crazy doors for me in various areas of my life.

So...why on earth am I telling you all of this? Maybe because the times and seasons haven't been easy, and they still aren't. However, just as it says in that song, "Believe," I believe that He loves me, and that's all I need to know. No matter what I'm going through or how hopeless or difficult the circumstances may seem, He loves me. God does everything He does and allows everything He allows out of His love for us. Whoa, Jess, what the flip did you just say? Haha. God doesn't allow anything in our lives to occur that do not serve a purpose in some way, shape, or form. It's true.

Man, I don't know what tomorrow holds. I don't know what is going to happen, where I will end up or whatever. Who knows! Maybe I'll end up in Sweet Home Alabama shootin' the poop with Forrest Gump or something. Maybe Vegas is my new hot spot until the fire gets lit again under my toosh, and God says, "Time to move on!" Again, I have not but a clue what the days, weeks, or even months may bring. However, I can say this one thing: It doesn't really matter. I know all I need to know. Period.

I have never learned so much about the love of God in as I am right now in my almost 12 years of knowing Jesus. I am learning to really love myself. I am learning that He loves me. I am learning that I don't have to be afraid. Everything is under control. It's in His hands. Heck, I am even learning to accept myself for who I am and also praise God for who He is making me to become. I am learning to look in the mirror everyday and see that I AM BEAUTIFUL! That's HUGE for me. I even had someone look them in the eye and say about myself that I am beautiful....not just once but like 3 times. I wanted to cry, actually I did cry. It was such breakthrough for me. This is the love of God.

Ya know what's even crazier? We can choose to love God, but He can't help but love us! We can say love is a choice, love is a feeling, love is an action, or whatever. Phooey. God is the pure definition of what love really is. I am learning that as I love and accept myself more, I love God more. The more time I spend with God, I just love Him! The more I love God, the more intimate I become with Him, and the more His love just builds up in me more and more and more until it just overflows, and I am just leaking with His love all over the place! Whew. I am learning to love people beyond myself, and there is no way that would be possible without first getting the revelation of God's love for me. I believe that because God just can't help but love us because He is the definition of love, and so it is His very nature to love, He couldn't help it when He made the decision to send His Only Son to die on a cross so He could continue to love us and have relationship with us. He is really a God of love, man. Wow.

I was praying the other day with a lady I know who is such a prayer warrior, and just a spunky one for Jesus. She and I were crying out to the Lord, and all of the sudden something relatively new happened in her life....she began to prophesy over me. It was just more and more confirmation, and it was accurate too. I was like, WHOA! Then, she prophesied that I know what love IS NOT, but also something about me knowing what love IS. It was so sharp, so simple, yet so profound, and it made such a love dent in my heart. I couldn't believe that God saw me that way. That I know what love is and is not, and that He is going to use me to love love love people, all kinds of people. This rocked me.

So yes, I believe that God loves me, and I believe that His love for me is all I need to know because it is the basis of everything God says and does in our lives. It should also be the basis of everything we say and do in our lives because THAT very thing is what is beautiful and pleasing to God...when we walk in His love. You know those commandments..."Love the Lord Your God...Love your neighbor as yourself..." You get it. It's all about the love. Just believe it. Believe that He loves you, and it's all you need to know, cuz that's just the way it is. Just believe. Just love. Amen.