it was the perfect "girl scenario. there i was on a warm vegas night, sitting in my pjs, indulging in mint chocolate chip ice cream (which is my absolute fave, by the way), hair pulled back, watching my fave show, One Tree Hill. am i lame? haha. i don't think so. just being myself, i guess. doesn't matter anyway. i was enjoying myself, and this experience got me thinkin', which is now leading me to write yet again...
tonight's episode was about tragedy, grief. the star basketball player funeral taking place and watching how others coped with this unexpected event after this guy was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was shot to death. also, watching other characters deal with their own inner turmoil that is just bottling up inside, and it makes you wonder what day, minute, second that they just can't take it anymore and will eventually explode.
for those who don't know this, and believe it or not, this show has had a major impact on my life. yes, i am newly 27 years of age, and i am deeply inspired by a teeny bopper's TV show. does it matter? i think not. OTH is in its 6th season, and it still affects me. granted, i missed most of season 5 due to living in Holland, but it doesn't matter. what i have seen of this show is enough to make me think. and i guess that's what i love about it.
so many things happen in our lives that are unexpected. i could name...oh let's say like a thousand right off the bat just in my own life, and i am sure you could too. not all of these life's unexpectations are bad, some are good, and others are even great. no matter what they are, they impact us in a way that we are changed...molded and shaped into the men and women we are today.
i guess the main "surrealities" in my life at the moment might be somehting like...i never expected to be back in the states again to live. i never expected to be divorced, and i am. i never expected to be a size 8 again after "getting lucky" and losing all of that weight to get into a size 2 right after my ex-husband left. i guess tragedy CAN be beneficial at times. haha. i never expected much of my life to take the turns that it has. some in my control, and others not. however, looking back, i guess i have to ask myself, if it was all worth it. those life's unexpectations. do even those make life worth living? that's quite a question, and maybe it cannot be answered in a simple "yes" or "no." everyone's opinion is different, i suppose.
i guess for me, it's been many of those life's unexpectations that have either propelled me into faith or shrunk me back into fear. but that's just it. we cannot control what happens or who happens in our lives. the only thing we can control is our reaction to them. i will be the first to admit that i haven't handled many situations in faith, but rather with fear. and it's been that fear that has and continues to plague my life. so this is where i am thankful for those life's unexpectations, whether they reveal the good, the bad, or the ugly side of life. why, you ask? because it's these twists and turns along the journey that give me another chance to do it right again. it's another chance for me to express my faith, and for God to express His faithfulness. and there is nothing more beautiful or more amazing than that.